Beautiful Disaster
by Isabella Monroe
Summary: This story is a one shot companion piece to my main story Blood Sugar Sex Magik. Isabela and Mari Hawke are out on the town for girls night out, but before Mari makes it home her night takes a dramatic turn.


**This is a one shot on how Anders and Mari Hawke from my other story Blood Sugar Sex Magik got together as a couple, but this story can also stand alone for all the Anders/Lady Hawke shippers.**

**Beautiful Disaster**

"He's magic and myth, as strong as what I believe  
A tragedy with more damage than a soul should see  
And do I try to change him? So hard not to blame him  
Hold on tight, hold on tight

Oh 'cause I don't know, I don't know what he's after  
But he's so beautiful, such a beautiful disaster  
And if I could hold on through the tears and the laughter  
Would it be beautiful? Or just a beautiful disaster"

_Beautiful Disaster by Kelly Clarkson_

Mari Hawke paused at the door waiting for her eyes to adjust to the low lighting in the Hanged Man; she glanced around the room and spotted Isabela seated at a table in the corner. She walked over and threw herself down in the chair across from her friend. Mari waved at the barkeep and ordered two whiskey shots and two pints.

Isabela raised an eye brow and grinned, "Oh, so it's been one of those kinds of days!"

"Yes, it has," Mari groaned then paused as the barkeep set down the shots and hurried off.

"Men," Mari hissed.

Isabela laughed. "If we are going to have a conversation about men we are going to need another round of whiskey," Isabela replied.

"I just gave Fenris a very valuable sword as a gift to thank him for always being willing to put his life on the line for us and I swear that man almost ran me through with the gift. If I live to be a hundred, I will never understand him," Mari complained.

"Yes, but he has the prettiest eyes," Isabela cooed.

Mari nodded, "Yes, I'll give him that."

"And that smoldering thing he does when he looks at you so intently….Mmmm, just makes ya go weak in the knees," Isabela purred.

"Well…yeah that is kind of sexy too," Mari conceded.

"And that glowing thing he does….wow!" Isabela exclaimed.

"The glow thing is interesting, but not a 'wow'," Mari countered.

"It is when he does it while he's on top and thrusting into you…WOW," Isabela mewed.

Mari started to choke on the ale she just taken a sip of. "W-what? You're sleeping with Fenris?"

Isabela nodded and mischievously grinned at her. "For how long?"

"Oh with those lyrium surges he can go for hours and let me tell you the ecstasy his partner feels from those surges make your toes curl," Isabela bragged.

Mari shook her head. "I could have gone my whole life without that visual. What I meant was, how long have you been sleeping with him?"

"Oh for a few weeks now," Isabela said.

"Well, now that you've slept with him I need to cross him off my list," Mari grumbled.

"Oh, you don't have to do that. I'll share. We can even share him together if you want," she cooed.

"Aaah, nooo, that's okay. Thanks for offering," Mari grumbled into her ale as she took a swig.

"Where is your sense of adventure, my pet?" Isabela purred.

"That is an adventure I can live without. It was an adventure just sleeping with you. I can't imagine the two of you," Mari chortled.

"Oh well, I guess you could always bed Sebastian. With his deep blue eyes, nobleman's good looks and that sexy brogue of his, I'm sure you could ring his Chantry bells," Isabela noted.

"I have a better chance of getting laid by the Grand Cleric then I do by Sebastian Vael," Mari argued.

"You could always dress up in a sexy Andraste costume, maybe then he would bend you over the alter as he cries out, 'Aye me darlin', let me give ye me ole' hard iron rod,' Isabela said in what could only be described as the worst brogue she had ever heard.

Mari burst out laughing. "Oh that really would be something to see."

Isabela nodded. "We could charge admission for it. Think of all the coin we could make," She stated matter-of-factly.

"After this conversation I'll be doing good not to be struck by lightning when I leave here," Mari retorted jovially.

"Well, then that leaves Varric and…"

"Don't you even start in on dwarf sex. I don't think my stomach or my imagination could handle those thoughts right now," Mari interrupted.

"Well, you know that they say, 'Once you go short you'll never retort'," Isabela said.

"Argh," Mari moaned.

Isabela reached across the table and grasped Mari's hand. "Well, if you're just looking to scratch an itch, my bed is always available to you. I do believe that we had a very memorable night," Isabela purred.

Mari grinned at her, "That is the second time tonight you have tried to get me back in bed with you. Memorable indeed!"

"You can't blame a girl for trying," Isabela cooed.

Before Mari could reply the barkeep arrived with the second round of whiskey shots. Isabela raised her glass and Mari did the same.

"Here's to men that are BIG, here's to men that are SMALL. Here's to men that think their BIG but really aren't at ALL! But the ones that we raise our glasses to in the middle of the night, are the ones that go from small too big and stick it in just right."

Mari grinned, "Salute!" They clinked their glasses together and gulped their shot down.

"Well, my dear friend, that only leaves one other man. I've seen the way you look at him and I have most definitely seen the way he looks at you," Isabela said.

"How does he look at me?"

"Like a darkspawn that spotted a lone child…fresh meat!"

Mari laughed. "Really? And when have you observed this?"

"When we are out on missions and you are leading the way, I swear I saw the man wipe drool from his lips after staring so intensely at your arse. And I know what a woman in…" Isabela replied.

"Don't go there," Mari said as a sad express settled on her beautiful face. "I can't…as much as I want to…I can't. He is too dangerous."

"Yes, well the thought of doing it with a possessed man would make things rather interesting. Especially if you can get him really excited and make his eyes do that glowy thing."

Mari suddenly became serious. "That isn't what I meant. He is too dangerous for me…I lose myself when I'm around him. I can't think straight and all of my senses go out the window. When a man warns you that he will only break your heart, you should heed that warning!""

Isabela laughed, "If I listened to every man that told me that he would break my heart I would still be a virgin. Mari, life is too short not to take the chance when something or someone like this comes along and makes you feel that way. That holds especially true for us and the way we live our lives. If you want him and if you feel for him as strongly as I suspect you do, you, for your own sanity, have to pursue this."

Mari vigorously shook her head. "Have you ever met someone that was like a drug to you? Someone that you knew that, once you had that first touch, that first taste that you would be addicted forever?"

Isabela slowly nodded as a past memory flickered across her mind. "Yes, I know exactly what you're talking about."

"Well, that is Anders for me. If I give in I know he will cloud my judgment and skew my common sense. There are too many important decisions that I make that affect the lives of many, I can't afford to have my reason and logic slanted."

"I understand, but I disagree with you. Everyone at least once in their life time needs to feel those kinds of intense emotions; feelings so powerful, so compelling that all logic and reason go out the window and you have cave into the passion. Anders is that man for you, Mari. Don't let him slip through your fingers. Give into the moment and then come what may."

Mari smiled at her carefree friend, she waved to the barkeep for one more round of whiskey. Once he had brought them over Mari raised her glass, "Here is one for the road; here's to the shafts of various size: you think you're such a _fucking_ prize, but all the ego this side of hell, won't wash away that horrid smell. Sex toys, bondage, drugs and liquor, won't make that thing grow any thicker, and let me tell you, I've had slicker. So Ladies, raise your glass, here's to the many men we love and to those that we truly hope to _rub_."

Isabela laughed. "Oh, that's good, Salute!" And a chorus of women that had heard the toast joined in. They drank their whiskey, then hugged goodbye and Mari made her way out to the street to head home. She passed the entrance to Darktown and she paused. There had been countless nights over the past three years that she had dropped by the clinic to flirt and tease Anders so it wouldn't be awkward if she did so tonight. She would just flirt with him a little, make a few suggestive overtures that will make him squirm, tease him a little and then head home. The man was a wall; her charms just seemed to bounced off of him effortlessly. Which was probably a good thing otherwise she would have caved into her desire and yearning for him long ago.

With the courage of the whiskey pulsing through her veins she turned and headed for the clinic. When she entered, Anders was kneeling as he put out a saucer of milk.

"What are you doing?"

"I miss having a cat around…something soft and furry to pet," Anders replied.

"I have something soft and furry you can pet," Mari cooed.

She could tell that he was trying to suppress a grin, but instead of responding to her innuendo he changed the subject. _Damn it!_

"I'm glad you stopped by, I wanted to let you know that the templars were practically on my doorstep the other evening," Anders said.

"Do the templars know about you, are they hunting you?" Mari questioned the panic beginning to rise.

"No, they were just checking the refugee camps, but it was a close call," Anders replied.

"Well, thank the Maker you were able to get away. I might just have to lock you up to keep you safe," Mari said with a smirk.

"Sweetheart, I'm not letting anyone lock me, you included," Anders replied smugly.

A mischievous grin spread across her face, "Well, how about if you just let me tie you up instead?"

A sexy little grin crept across his face, but again he let the comment slide. "I've been meaning to thank you. It has meant a lot to the Mages of Kirkwall to have someone like you stand up for them. It has meant a lot to me and one day we will make a world where your sister can be free," Anders said.

"I love my sister and I have spent all of my life protecting her…but Anders you have to know by now that I'm not doing this for her. _I'm_ doing this for you. It would kill me if the templars ever got a hold of you and I will do everything in power not to let that happen," Mari replied.

His hair which was normally pulled back now hung loosely around his face and he ran his fingers through it as he let out a sigh. "Mari," he started breathlessly. "I have tried to brush off your flirting and overtures as playful fun. I have tried to hold back, to resist you because of what I am and what I am capable of doing. For so long, I've tried to ignore my growing need and hunger for you, but damn it Mari I'm only a man. You can't come here at night looking so breathtakingly beautiful, tease me the way that you do and not expect me to react." Anders said as he turned his back on her trying to regain his composure.

Mari stepped up behind him; she placed her hand on his shoulder and whispered, "I've been waiting for you react for years."

He spun to face her; desire and longing were etched on his face. "I don't know if I can resist you much longer."

"Then don't," she sighed softly.

Before she realized it he rushed at her, ran his fingers through her hair as his mouth claimed hers. The moment that his lips touched hers she knew she had been right, she was drowning in him and sinking fast. Their lips parted as they both hungrily sought to deepen the kiss to try to satisfy the irrepressible craving that was beginning to grow out of control.

She laced her fingers through his long hair until they came to rest at the base of his neck, she pressed into him and felt how intensely he wanted her. He slid his hand down her back to her behind, he gripped her firmly as he pushed against her groin sending an all consuming fire through her body. They both let out a guttural groan at the same time.

"Oh Maker, Mari I need you so badly," he moaned just before his lips captured hers again and his tongue delved into her mouth as he savored her. Maker, no man should taste this good, should kiss this good and she felt her knees nearly give out as pure animistic lust rolled through her. Anders gripped her waist to keep her on her feet and he gently pulled away from her.

"Are you feeling what I'm feeling? I have this extreme yearning to be as close as humanly possible to you; I need to feel you, touch you, taste you. I've never felt anything so intense before," he sighed into the side of her neck.

"Oh Anders, my whole being longs for you," she whimpered into his ear.

His mouth seized hers again, with a soft groan in his throat, his tongue darted into her mouth and his tongue felt like a velvet flame against hers that burned so hotly, yet so sweetly through her entire body. He pulled away from her again and the moment the warmth of his body left hers, a longing ache tore through her.

He closed his eyes as he tried to compose himself. When he opened them, his sultry eyes met hers, "This is going to be a disaster, but I can't live without it. I can't live without you anymore. I need you desperately, but you have to go into this with open eyes, Mari. If you're with me we will be hunted, hated and the whole world will be against us."

"Well, popularity really is overrated," Mari replied.

"Don't! You can't be flippant about this, Mari. I can't give you a normal life, the life you deserve. You need to walk away from me now because if you let me in I don't think I'll ever be able to let you go," Anders sighed as he struggled to remain in control of his voice.

"Can't you feel _this _between us? I couldn't walk away even if I wanted to, my free will is gone where you're concerned. You are my every want, my need, my ever desire," she breathed against his lips.

"Then I will come to you, my sweet addiction," Anders moaned against her lips as he dipped down to claim her lips again trying to quench the insatiable craving.

**I wrote another one shot as a companion piece to this one shot called Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore. It picks up where this left off. **ht tp:/ /www. Fan /s/ 6940499/1/ Cant_Fight_This_Feeling_Anymore (Remove the spaces)


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